Adoptive Parent

I started my adoption journey as an Early Permanence/Foster to Adopt carer of a baby who lived with us for 4 months before they ultimately went to a birth family member. This was a very challenging time but I learnt a lot about myself and how I cope through very difficult circumstances, the loss of the EP baby has been a life changing experience for me. My partner and I subsequently adopted 2 children through ‘normal’ adoption, these were 2 separate adoptions and very different matching and transition experiences. Both children have additional needs which were discovered post adoption.

Being an adopter doesn’t stop when the process is over, there are so many facets to how it affects your ongoing life including post adoption support, support networks, birth family contact (which can change through your children’s lives), life story work, identity, and potential future adoptions.

I also chair an Adoption Committee for an adoption agency. Our aim is to support change, enabling better support and understanding for adopters. In addition I am an Independent Adoption Panel Member for Adoptive Parent approvals and child matches.

SEN Parent

Both our children have been diagnosed with ADHD and Autism. When we initially had concerns about our son’s neurodevelopment needs it was the biggest learning curve. Discovering what it actually meant to have a neurodivergent brain, how it presented and how it differs, what it meant to us as parents as well as them as children trying to navigate a world, which for the majority does not think like they do. Understanding how to navigate the diagnosis paths and school support was so complex and seemed very inconsistent across the country. I soon learnt more than I ever thought I would about neurodivergent diagnosis processes, paediatric services and SEN support in schools (from the initial obligations on schools where a need is identified to the Educational Health Care Plan process (EHCP)). I sought advice both anecdotally and professionally and I am lucky enough to have some incredible support which I know a lot of people don’t always get.

Navigating the EHCP was complex but I soon learnt my way around the 4 core ares of needs (communication and interaction, cognition and learning, social, emotional and mental health & sensory and/or physical) alongside the importance of understanding which details are particularly important to drive the right outcome (funding and school provision).

I have also spent a lot of time learning how to adjust home life for our children to support their learning and development for the way they see the world. This is things like visual timetables, sensory activities, routine adjustments. I can assure you this a process of trial and error and soon learned that you can’t assume what works for one child will work for another.

I have worked with an array of paediatric services, local authority services, sensory and educational services, therapists and Child, Adolescent and Mental Health Services (CAMHS) to support our children’s needs. Our children are currently both under EHCP support with a specialist school provision.

Adult ADHD

As part of my learning journey for my children, I started to recognise traits of ADHD in myself. I had been on a journey of self reflection and change with the support of a therapist and discussed the possibility with them. I discussed my thoughts with another late diagnosed ADHD adult friend and from that conversation was sure I wanted to be assessed.

I was assessed and diagnosed in May 2023 where I got a confirmed Combined Type ADHD diagnosis. Since being diagnosed it has helped me understand myself and life experiences in a totally different way than I have ever been able to. I have reflected on how much masking I was and sometimes still continue to do and the toll it takes on me. I have worked on making adjustments to be more ‘myself’ and help others close to me understand what that means and how I may now do things slightly differently.

I have subsequently supported a number of other adults that were on their own discovery journey. I firstly help them make sense of if they want to be assessed and then, if diagnosed support them with how they feel and what strategies they could implement with their new understanding of themselves.

Work Life Experience

Before becoming a full time parent/carer in 2024 I worked for over 24 years full time. The majority of my career has been working in London City with the last 10+ years focusing on leadership transformation roles where I would run and enable business change, leading teams of up to 100 and additionally large supplier accounts for delivery. In my time I have managed and mentored many people, supporting them reach their full potential by looking at their key strengths and motivators to set them up for whatever their next desired career step is.